Diary of a Military Kid: Putting Down Roots

This blog is part of a series that former military child and current college freshman Alison will be writing  for The Comfort Crew this summer. Her unique voice and viewpoint are a great insight into the mindset of a child who has faced the challenges of being in a military family.

I recently read this book, Maphead. The quick but ardently recommended read focuses on the study of geography and the human connection to place. Ken Jennings writes of his frequent moves growing up, his struggle with the “Where are you from?” question, and identifying a love of and connection to a place he hasn’t actually lived for most of his life. As a military child who dealt with all of the above, this concept of a connection to a place even when you aren’t actually there really resonated with me. Jennings quotes Simone Weil, “To be rooted is perhaps the most important and the least recognized need of the human soul.”

Well, hey! No wonder moving-related transitions were so hard for me growing up- it’s natural to have a tough time if you feel uprooted. I often got really frustrated with the awkwardness related to fitting in with a group of kids who had grown up together, and trying to find my own niche or friend group. Researching different clubs and teams to join in order to meet new people took so much time and effort it was like a class within itself. When I was younger, meeting people and building new relationships wasn’t much of an issue. At that age, being best friends with someone wasn’t a complex thing- they liked the same stuff you did, you thought their shoes were pretty cool, and that was that. But that changes with age, and I remember my first week of 7th grade as being, perhaps, the most miserable week of my life. Everyone had such tight-knit friend circles that there simply wasn’t a need for me at their lunch table and I ate lunch alone. I had just moved from Germany to Tampa, FL, and I hadn’t gotten the memo on which name-brand clothes were okay to wear, or that I should be wearing eyeliner and straightening my hair into lanky, boring submission.

Even though it was really tough, I realized that I could, in fact, find a way to break through to the other kids through common interests. So I joined the Science Club, the Track and Soccer Teams, and Band. I found that, even if you don’t plan on continuing an activity, being a part of a team is a great way to build relationships with new people. By the end of my first year in a place, I usually felt pretty connected to my peers. However, I missed old friends. Before the days of Facebook, I would write letters to friends and a few of us took turns exchanging “thinking of you” boxes. They usually had a bunch of silly stuff in them, but, regardless, it felt good to know I still had a connection to friends from other places I’d lived. I always tried to see old friends when we’d go on cross-country road trips, even if it was just for lunch. Even though I may only see them every few years, my old friends are still in touch. Facebook is now a useful tool to connect, but I have to say that exchanging packages or letters with my friends was always way more exciting. There’s something about having a tangible connection to different people in different places, and I guess that all goes back to the importance of feeling like you’ve left roots somewhere.