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Thursday, May 3, 2012

What National Military Appreciation Month Means to a Former Military Child

In honor of National Military Appreciation Month, we sat down with Alison, a military child who is now a freshman at the University of Texas, to get her thoughts on what the month means to her, and what it was like growing up as a military kid.

As a military child, what does National Military Appreciation Month mean to you?
To me, the month of May is a time to recognize our soldiers and the support system behind them. It doesn’t matter to me what someone may decide to do to acknowledge their appreciation- every little bit counts. Whether it’s googling the effects of PTSD or saying “Thanks for your service” to someone in uniform- these are the things that make us feel supported and connected in a difficult time. 

What are some of the common issues that military kids face?
All the problems that accompany moving and uprooting were difficult to deal with growing up- new schools, new friends, losing touch with old friends, and explaining to new friends the reasons for your frequent moves. For kids attending schools with largely civilian populations, it can be tough to find a support group that understands the emotional challenges that accompany moves and why they occur so frequently in the life of a military kid. Understandably, deployments also make life tough. People assume that military kids “get used to” loved ones being gone, but that simply isn’t the case. To a child, the importance of whatever event is being missed doesn’t matter- seeing other peers with both of their parents at a soccer game, an awards ceremony, or a meet-the-teacher night at school makes you miss your service member. For me, it was hard just realizing my dad wouldn’t be home for dinner, let alone my Senior Academic Awards Banquet.

How did you cope with those challenges?
When I made new friends, I tried to better explain where I was coming from if they didn’t already understand. The emotional strain of deployments is very hard to grasp unless you’ve experienced it, and I tried to let my peers know what that means to so many Americans with loved ones serving overseas. I also tried to stay busy, to find new hobbies and ways to connect with my community. Building a support system within the military community or without can be more helpful than you may realize. Doing something as simple as going bowling with the Family Readiness Group from my dad’s Battalion really helped relieve some anxiety I had during my dad’s deployment.

How do you feel you would have benefitted from support from an organization like The Comfort Crew for Military Kids
I would have loved to get a Comfort Crew Comfort Kit growing up. It’s important for a kid to know someone knows what they’re going through and can sympathize. Especially because I lived abroad for several of my dad’s deployments, I often felt alone in what I was feeling- my neighbors didn’t agree with our country’s involvement in the Middle East and though they understood how important that one phone call a week from my Dad was, they couldn’t empathize with the issues with deployments and moving caused.  Everything in the Comfort Kit lets a military child know someone is thinking about what they’re going through.  I journaled growing up, but I think if I received a journal similar to one another kid going through similar issues received, I would have felt a stronger sense of togetherness. Meeting kids through camps would have helped with the times I lived in areas that were farther away from a military base, and didn’t have the same support group as I would have on a post or base.

What's the best way for those outside the military world to support military children and families?
I would encourage people to educate themselves about the lifestyle. I find a lot of comfort in people I talk to understanding certain aspects of the military lifestyle. For example, the difficulty with reintegrating and readjusting after returning home. Regardless of how someone might feel about the military in general, respect for what service members and their families go through is important for our families.

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